How do you just cut someone out of your life?

I know I was supposed to be talking about that second date, but something that relates more to this blog happened to me this weekend that I’m sure   you will find entertaining. After all you guys probably hear about enough white people, as it is so let’s start spicing it up a little. I think y’all are ready. So remember how I mentioned something about going to Richmond? Well I sort of took a trip down there this weekend.

About a year ago, my friend who goes to SSU who is from Berkeley introduced me to this best friend Charles from elementary school who lives in Richmond. Now if you have never been to Richmond or never been to a “hood” I suggest you get a little culture in your life and check it out. A hood is the only place where you can see a church and a crack house on the same block. Yes I was spending my weekends a few houses down from a crack house.

Charles and I soon become really close, and I started going down there regularly to see him. He is a really good person and we had a really good connection right away, he just couldn’t do anything for me. He currently is on welfare, and while he is in school, everyday is a struggle for him. I am the least materialistic person; money does not matter to me, but it was getting to the point to where we could never go out and do anything because he had no money. All he wanted to do was kick it at home and smoke blunts.

Now don’t get me wrong that’s fun for a while, and then it just gets boring.

I loved being with him and spending time down there but everyday I felt guilty for everything that I had in my life. I felt guilty for having parents that support me and help me pay for things and give me money regularly to get through college. I would just get so sad down there. His parents however are missing in action and his mother is a drug addict who lives with a guy that keeps her from seeing Charles and takes the money that Charles gives to her for drugs. Talk about a lifetime movie right? He would tell me all these problems, and I felt so helpless because I could not do anything to help him. I also felt bad because there was no way I could relate to his problems. The only thing I could do was be there for him.

My new years resolution was to stay celibate and cut it off with Charles. I am a beautiful person and I deserve to be treated like a queen. I shouldn’t be hanging out in this dirty house. I mean shit his room doesn’t even have a freakin door on it!  He uses a mattress as a door. This resolution it is clearly is not working out too well. I don’t know why I went down there again I guess I missed him and it was good to see him but it’s just bad for my health. It just like a drug that I cant cut the habit of and I don’t know how I’m going to. I probably wont be able to until I meet someone that sweeps me off my feet.

I’m sure we’ll be hearing some more about Charles in this blog in the future….